My last cookie!

I wish. There is no way I have that much self control, but I did throw away the second cookie that was in the bag here at the hospital. I am hoping we will not be frequenting this place as much and I will not have as much junk food binge eating as I have the past 7 months. For the past few days, I have been doing better about watching what I eat and not eating at night after dinner. Of course, I did have a calzone from Mellow Mushroom for lunch today. There is always the one last...... LOL

I didn't work out today. It just did not fit into my schedule. Hopefully, tomorrow I will start week 4 of my P90X workouts. I haven't been a real stickler following it, but I have done pretty good. I just need to get into a routine. I really need to get back into teaching some Jazzercise classes. I am hoping we can add a Body Sculpt class that I can teach once a week. I don't think I am ready for all the jumping up and down because my feet just can't handle it anymore.

The main thing I need to do is remain consistent. Consistent at eating good for you food (not junk) and also consistent in working out. Here's hoping!

Still doing the P90X

I'm still doing the P90X although I must admit I did not do chest and back yesterday. I just couldn't stand the thought of doing push-ups and pull-ups (with no bar). I think if the bar had been installed I might have done it, but I just want to say that push-ups suck!! I did some anyway and a few legs exercises while I was watching a movie with my little girl. Then I benched pressed her for two sets and did some leg push-ups with her on my feet. Not quite an hours worth of working out, but I figure it was better than nothing.

Today during plyometrics, my knees were bothering a little so I eased up on the last part. Also my feet got a little irritated, but they are not hurting yet. I think the insoles I put in my shoes might have helped a little.

I haven't really tried to diet at all, but I am feeling like maybe that would help. You think??? If I could just stay away from the sweets I think that would be enough cutting back. However, for lunch today all I had was grilled chicken and a few pieces of sushi. Breakfast was a piece of cantaloupe, yogurt and granola followed by a small left over filet for a snack. That's all I've eaten today and it is almost 4:30. Wow! Still, too much protein and not enough veggies. Oh well at least no cookies or ice cream yet. My daughter did ask to go to the ice cream shop though. She has got to stop doing that because she never finishes it and I end up eating it. Last time she got a waffle cone. You know I had to eat that! At least I don't order my own anymore. That's a few calories saved.

Wish my workout buddy was into the workout groove. We used to go all the time and now maybe once or twice a month. Oh well, I do have P90X and I don't have to leave home to do it. I just have to make myself do it and believe me when there is no one else watching it is easy to slack off.

P90X

I started doing P90X almost two weeks ago. It is definitely a good workout, but not always easy to fit in the day since it is at least an hour a day. I have done good and only missed one day so far. Hope I can keep it up and get fit for the holidays. Now if I could just curb my junk food eating habits....gotta stop buying it I guess!

I weighed myself at Summer's dr. office yesterday - 137 pounds. I doubt that number is going to change much without dieting, but hopefully I won't reach 140. I think it is pretty good though considering last year I weighed around 135 and was working out 5-6 days a week. I have never been too keen on a diet because then I just want to eat more cause I feel like I can't. Why is it when we are told not to do something we want to do it more????

I NEED a trip to the gym!

Well, instead of sitting around eating junk all day, I really need to be hitting the gym. That seems an impossible request lately and I am lucky I still have my shower to do crazy calves in. :) I did 1/2 of a crazy calf workout and I felt nothing the next day. So much for being a slacker. I really gotta get more motivated to change my eating and workout habits. Of course, then I gotta find someone to watch my baby girl for me so I can actually go workout. Maybe come October I'll be able to get back into the swing of things. Unless anyone wants to come watch her today.........

Oh no, Poptarts...

Why did I let myself eat that Poptart for breakfast. I guess because I just couldn't see throwing away two perfectly good brown sugar & cinnamon Poptarts that my hubby left sitting on the counter when my daughter did not eat them last night. (wow, that was a long sentence!) Good news is, I only ate one! Of course, I did eat a couple of pieces of chocolate a few minutes ago so I don't know why I am fretting over the Poptart. Well, I'm off to pizza for lunch???? LOL

Sore calves!

I love those crazy calves!!! They get my legs every time. I've been in a little pain today walking around, but nothing unbearable. You know the saying, "no pain, no gain!" It's true.

I had a second workout last night. Miraculously enough, my old workout partner texted me yesterday wanting to workout. So, we met up and did legs last night. We were supposed to do shoulders today, but it is not looking too good for that. I haven't heard from him yet and it is almost 7:00. No big deal since I did shoulders yesterday. I would do them again though if it meant getting to workout with someone.

I did a little cardio this morning. My Ipod was dead when I started to head out for my walk, so I I cancelled my original walking plans and opted for walking around a little patio at the hospital and up 6 flights of stairs twice. Then I walked the halls until I saw the Dr. getting ready to head in our room. Overall, it was about 30 minutes or so. It was better than nothing and I'm happy I did it.

Now if I can just stay away from the sugar cookies calling my name. I've already eaten about half of one. The other half is staring me down. I will probably cave. Man, where is my willpower?? Must be the fact that my hubby said my butt was looking good today shutting it down. All those cookies I've been eating sure haven't hurt it. Wish I could say the same for my legs....

It's been a while

I haven't really been hitting the gym too much over the past few months. I figured it would be that way though. Now I am lucky if I get to go to the gym once or twice a week. This morning I had a decent shoulder workout. Nothing too special because I didn't have much time. I also added in a few biceps and one chest exercise since I am on a workout budget. :) Then I did my shower version of "crazy calves" just a few minutes ago.

It feels good to go to the gym and I hope I am able to start going more, but it all depends. I think my workout partner who bailed on me 6 months ago is going to start back. I won't hold my breath though. If I did that, I'd already be dead. :)

Cardio is definitely lacking too. I am lucky to do it once every other week. Yikes!

The back of my legs are really hating me right now, but my lips sure are loving the cookies. I think I may be on my way back towards some sort of control in the eating department. But, only if occasional cookie splurges are allowed. I just can't eat them EVERY DAY like I have been for the past month or two. Oh the pleasure I can get from butter, flour and chocolate!!!

One month out

It is one month out from the competition I would've been in. I am in no where as good of shape as I was 2 months ago. I have fallen victim to my endless food cravings, but such is life. I have still been trying to hit the gym at least a few times a week, but it is hard. I've got to keep up my weight training so next year I just need to peel the fat off the top leaving my lean & supple muscles. LOL. Anyways, I'm off to eat a probably unhealthy meal. Unless we go for sushi....

Gym later. :)

My boobs are back!!!

Well it didn't take long to get them back. Just a lot of cookies and other carb filled treats and now I am plumping up all over. I am especially glad to have my boobs coming back. They were sorely missed, at least by me, and I am glad to see they have returned. I have not been hitting the weights as much as I'd like lately, but maybe I'll get back into soon. I am trying to do a little cardio every morning, but that only paves the way for me to eat loads of junk afterwards. Hmmm. Something about that doesn't seem right.

Surprise, surprise

Yesterday I made it to the gym to work out with some friends. And boy did it feel good!!!! I am sore today. :) Also good!

I weighed myself yesterday and was surprised to see I am still below my start weight. I guess all these cookies and cupcakes haven't officially turned into thigh fat yet. LOL I am still hovering right above 130. So, I am going to try to eat more sensibly, but the more I think about it, the more junk I put into my mouth. Let's see. So far today I have had a pop-tart, a cupcake, some baked Cheetos, a pb&j sandwich, a chocolate chip cookie (or was it two), and two different cheese snacks (mozzarella and cheddar). Oh yeah, and a miniature Hershey bar.

Yep, I've been eating like crap. At least I am drinking healthy though. So far just water and green tea. :)

I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but someone didn't want me to go so here I am sitting on my butt trying not to eat. I did get about 30 minutes of cardio (walking) in this morning while my daughter was having her treatment. So, that is better than nothing. Maybe tomorrow I will get to go do legs with my buddies. That would be awesome!!! I've got to keep building up my muscle just in case I decide to compete next year. I don't want to lose what I have and I really enjoy building them up. So, I'll still be pumping it out at the gym when I can even if it isn't 6 or 7 days a week like before. I may be losing my mind, but I surely don't want to lose my body too!!!!

The numbers are in

It is official, I have gained 5 pounds since quitting training for the contest last Monday. Oh well. I guess that was to be expected. I was wasting away into nothing but muscles. But, at least I can still see my abs!!!

I have still been going to the gym. The hospital hooked us up with the one across the street so we can go get a quick workout in while my daughter is in the hospital for her treatments. So, that is awesome! My hubby and I went there twice over the weekend. I was at the gym at 7:00 today to take a body sculpt class. It was a good workout and I am so happy I went.

I have been trying to get some cardio in everyday too, although it is usually no where near an hour. I feel a nice long walk coming on today though. :) I hope the weather is going to cooperate, but I really have no idea what the forecast is. Who has time for TV anymore? I didn't even watch my favorite shows last night I was so tired.

My eating has still been out of control, but I can see that coming to a wane. I hope anyways. :) I still can't resist anything with sugar or flour. I have had a few biscuits with peanut butter and jelly over the past few days. Gotta love hospital food. It is SOOO healthy. NOT. That place is a danger zone for me, but maybe if I can keep control of myself at home I won't gain another five pounds. It is all about moderation. Why is that so hard to remember?

It's Over

I have definitely put myself on hold so that I can give 100% to my daughter for the next 8 months. I can always try again next year, but I really feel like the right thing to do is give my all to Summer. I will still be hitting the gym a few days a week, but I doubt it will be everyday now. I love me some weight lifting so I will continue with that. The cardio, not so much. I'll still be teaching Jazzercise when I can so I won't be going cold turkey on the cardio. Plus, a nice morning walk might sound good on some days.

That being said, I have a sitter tonight. It is St. Patrick's Day so I just might go out and have a green beer or two now that I'm not on alcohol restriction. Oh, and pizza sounds good too. I've got to remember moderation although depriving myself the way I have the past few months has probably thrown my moderating abilities off a bit. Maybe next week I'll go for moderation. :)

Anyways, hope everyone finds a reason to celebrate today. I could use a little time to unwind and let go. Might as well be tonight.

Renewed hope

It looks as if we may be staying in Chattanooga for my daughter's treatment and if so I am going to continue to pursue my dreams! I have a lot of family here to support me and who want to see me win this thing so I am going to stick to it. But, I am going to have to stop going to family dinners for the next 13 weeks. Either that, or they are going to have to stop making desserts. My aunt made her irresistible cookies again today. Need I say more?

I have been giving my arm a break this week trying to get it to heal up, but I still have pain in it. I have been icing it for the past few days at least a few times a day like Julie advised. I am not sure it is going to actually get better any time soon, but I have been taking it easy. I didn't do weights 3 days this week!!! That is crazy for me. Tomorrow I will probably be working back and then legs on Tuesday. I don't know if she will want me to lay off the shoulders still this week, but I kind of doubt it. We've got to get them bigger!!!

I did some extra cardio today to try to make up for my lack of self-control. Guess I should do extra tomorrow too. I think she will be bumping me up to 2 hours in a week or so anyway. Might as well start now.

I have been slacking on my posing practice too. I need to get off here and go get in front of my mirror for a few minutes. But, I've got a few more things to do. Boy, procrastinating sure is easy!!!

Diminishing dreams

It seems like my dreams of competing are becoming less likely. We just can't catch a break with my daughter's cancer. I don't know if I am being selfish by still considering doing the competition or if it is really a distraction I need in my life right now. It could be the key to my sanity, but it could also lead to me going insane if I have to worry about eating right in a hospital setting all the time. I did pretty good today considering we were at the hospital most of the afternoon. My appetite isn't really that great anyway which is a plus. I did have a moment of "insanity" when I put one and a half chicken nuggets in my mouth, chewed them up, and swallowed them. Why did I do that?

I got my cardio in this morning, but it looks like that is out for tomorrow. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30. Normally I am at the Rush finishing up the StairMaster and heading towards the treadmill at that time. Oh well. Maybe I will get to the gym sometime in the afternoon and at least get a leg work out in. But, that might be pushing it. I know it does not really seem like a big deal to miss a day or two, but I want to win not come in second. So, I try to make everyday count.

I am currently on restriction from doing shoulders and possibly back if it hurts my arm. I have strained / aggravated a muscle in my upper arm and I need to rest it so it will get back to being pain free. My shoulders still need a lot of bulking up in the next 13 weeks. Speaking of, I better go get the ice pack and put it on before I head off to bed.

Is it possible the pain in my arm (and sometimes hips) is just another thing indicating I should quit? Man I gotta get my mind out of this rut and do some serious POSITIVE THINKING!!!

Trying to stay strong

I am so sore today. I may have to take a day off tomorrow and rest, but maybe not. I did an hour and a half of cardio before 7:30 this morning. It feels so good to get up and do this. Today I walked a different path home. One thing that is awesome about downtown living, is there is a lot of scenery to be seen and all within walking distance from my condo!!! I could walk a different path to the Rush everyday for a month if I really wanted to. Although I like to do most of my wandering around on the trip home.

I have been struggling a little with my diet thanks to more bad news about my daughter. I am really going to try to be strong. I am going to a friend's for dinner to night and taking my food with me!!! I will not be tempted. Yesterday when we got home from the doctor, I baked some homemade banana bread which I didn't initially think I would eat any of. I had some old bananas that needed to be made into bread. Well, I was strong the whole time my husband was eating hot banana bread. Then as I waited for him to return from picking up our sushi dinner, I lost control. First it was just a crumb then it turned into a whole piece. Damn it. I so wish I wouldn't have done it now. It was not worth it. I did feel a little better and more relaxed at the time I ate it, but today I am just thinking about the jiggle in my butt. My aunt is having a dinner on Sunday which will have about 0% for me to eat if I follow my diet. Crap. Looks like I'll be taking some special food for that trip too.

It will all be worth it in the end though. I am actually starting to look forward to this competition even more than I did before. It gives me a good distraction in my life. Something positive to focus on. So, here I am again cheering for myself: Go me! Go me! Go me!

Back to the grind

I already have an hour and forty minutes of cardio in today. I probably need to do about five hours everyday this week to make up for how bad I was this weekend. LOL. Seriously though. I WAS BAD!!!!!!! It felt so good to go to the gym this morning. I walked there, then did 30 minutes on the StairMaster and 20 minutes on the treadmill. Then I walked to Walgreens hoping to buy some oatmeal for my breakfast. However, I was not about to pay $4 for a thing of oatmeal. I cannot wait to have a yummy omelet with spinach and tomatoes this morning. I have been eating boiled eggs since Thursday night and I am ready for something different!

I am doing back today with Julie. I haven't done a back workout with her yet, so I am anxious to see what she will have me doing. I was going to "accidentally" forget my suit and shoes today, but I think I am just going to take them. Although my diet this weekend was non-existent, I am not going to wuss out and leave it at home just because I don't want to her see my body after eating all that food this weekend. I must get over it and do the posing she wants to see although I am not really feeling like showing off my abs today. I still don't think I'm going to fess up with how bad I was, but I am not really big on lying. I will just try to keep my mouth shut and forget about all of the yummy things I put in my body. I just hope it isn't written all over my face.

Diving off the deep end

Well, I had a major breakdown yesterday and just decided that I am going to let go this weekend and pick back up with the diet on Monday. I will not go into all the yummy details, but I will say that my belly is full of things I would've never imagined putting into it a week ago. With all of the stress I have on me right now, adding to it by trying to diet in a hospital setting is just not working for me. So I am diving head first into the deep end and the pool is DEEP!!! I figure this one weekend is not going to lose the competition for me. I am still 13 weeks and 6 days out. This weekend will only make me diet and train harder when I get back on the wagon on Monday.

I had an okay workout yesterday, but I didn't write any of it down. I was just glad to be in the gym and feel like I was doing something good for my body. I only did 10 minutes on the StairMaster and walked for about 20 out in the beautiful sunny weather. I know that is no where near an hour and a half, but with my baby laying in a hospital bed I thought it was pretty good. I am so ready for her to go home so I can get back to a normal workout schedule. I guess I need to call my trainer and reschedule our appts. for this week since she may still be in the hospital tomorrow morning.

I hope to reach the bottom of the pool sometime today although I doubt it will too much sooner than just before bedtime. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though. I am sure Julie will do that for me if I tell her how bad I was, but I'm not sure I'm going to go into all the yummy details with her either.

Shoulders today! Can't wait to step into the gym!!!!!!!!

Ready to hit the gym

I have not given up on my competition dreams yet. My trainer gave me permission to cheat yesterday so I did. I didn't feel guilty at all while I was eating at Olive Garden or drinking my mocha light frappacino from Starbucks, but when I had a cookie and brownie in the hospital last night I did. A little. LOL I told myself I was just going to cheat yesterday. Then this morning, after I had a good breakfast of eggs and oatmeal, I ate another cookie. Crap. Now I'm telling myself just get through the weekend and get my baby out of this hospital and I'll get back to being a good girl. Not sure if I should give myself the luxury of indulging anymore, but probably not. It is just so hard when I am sitting in the hospital surrounded by comfort foods. And boy do I need comfort. :)

I am anxiously awaiting my mom to get here so I can sneak off to the gym. I have not been in two days and I am having some major withdrawal, even guilt for not going. I know I am where I need to be right now though taking care of my baby. I just hope she doesn't put up a fuss when I leave or else I may not make it to the gym again. Yesterday our case worker showed me the stairwell so I am thinking maybe I can get some cardio in at the hospital. That would be awesome, but I am scared to leave my little girl in the room alone the middle of the night to go hit that stairwell although she would more than likely not wake up. We'll see if I ever make it there, but I really do want to use them. Today I am going to do legs. Where is my relief? The gym is screaming my name. Can't they hear it too?

Second thoughts

Well, I have had a major crisis in my family. My daughter has kidney cancer and we just found out today. So, I may or may not quit this whole competition thing. I'm just not sure I have it in me to continue on with all of this other crap to focus on. I really don't want to quit, but it might be the smart thing to do right now. I just don't know, but I still haven't cheated on my diet. We'll see what tomorrow brings....

Shoes are in!!!

However, they are still in the box. I jumped at the chance to get online while my little girl naps so they will have to wait until she wakes up.

I have 1 hour and 19 minutes of cardio in for today. Only 11 more left. LOL I am thinking about a nice walk across the bridge or possible to the library. I'm not sure exactly how warm it is out this afternoon, so I will probably decide when I step out the front doors with Summer in the stroller. It is supposed to be in the 70's this weekend so I see some serious bike riding in for me! That should break up the cardio rut I have been getting into.

These past few days I have been doing Jazzercise for some of my cardio and it has been fun. It works my core so much too that I feel like it is a double whammy. Two for the price of one!!! I am teaching again tomorrow. I haven't been teaching much lately so it has been nice to get some of these workouts in rather than just walking on the treadmill and StairMaster every morning. Plus I have an extra half hour of cardio to do now, so that will be at least two separate workouts. That means some days I'll be working out three times a day. That sounds fun to me! My only problem is working it around me daughter sometimes she does not think it is as fun.

I have eaten perfectly so far today. Scrambled eggs, oatmeal, protein shake, peanut butter, and sushi. I have some green tea chilling in the fridge. I'm going to fix me a big glass when I get up. I have been drinking flavored green tea the past few days, and I am ready to go back to plain green tea for a few days. Of course, a sugar-free red bull also sounds pretty yummy, but I only have those on special occasions. I don't there is any special occasion today. I am still trying to decide on dinner. Chicken or fish? I think we are going to have some asparagus and possibly a spinach salad too. I might could use a day off from salad too though. Maybe tonight I will just put some spinach and tomato in my eggs for a special treat. It is amazing the foods I look forward to now. Oatmeal, eggs, a spoon full of peanut butter. Don't get me wrong, a cookie or piece of cake sounds nice and inviting, but they are really just the devil in disguise. Something that can destroy all my other hard efforts in less than a minute. I will not eat them anymore....at least until after the show (and maybe Summer's birthday if Julie lets me).

Did that sound convincing? :)

I cheated!!!

But, the first thing I did when I walked into the gym for my workout with Julie was tell her about it. Although she did not berate me or bring me to tears like I know she has done others, I cannot do it again!!! It is not going to help my butt in any way and that is where most of my fat is. Thankfully it is not in my tummy too. She was very happy with that. I just need to work on keeping my abs pulled in.

Today she took my measurements for my suit. We have been looking at suits for a while and I think we finally narrowed it down to the cut, design and fabric. Woohoo!!! I just hope all these measurements are accurate and it actually fits when I get it.

Right now I weight 128.5 pounds. When I started dieting in January, I weighed 135. I am at about 18% body fat right now and she wants to get it down below 10% by the contest. Yikes! She is guessing that I will be around 120 pounds for the contest. I can't even imagine weighing 120 again. The last time I weighed anything close to that was when I was in high school. Oh, and when I got pregnant with Summer I got down to about 122 I think. Anyways, I still have quite a ways to go before I am ready to get up on a stage and compete.

She upped my cardio to 1 1/2 hours a day. My diet is still the same. I just need to make sure to stick to it. It is getting easier, but obviously I had a moment of weakness last night. I was not thinking about the goal. I was thinking about how awesome an ooey, gooey hot chocolate chip cookie tastes. So I ate it. Hey, everyone else was doing it! LOL

I must remember to always focus on the goal. And that is to win! I am going to aim high and hope I will not be disappointed.

Here is a little cheer I am doing today to keep me focused:

GO ME! GO ME! GO ME!

Oh to have a cheat meal...

My friends are meeting up at Las Margaritas for dinner tonight, but I don't think I'm going to go. I wouldn't be able to eat or drink (I could live with just one) so it doesn't sound like too much fun. I guess I should just go hop in the shower and get ready for the gym. I really need to eat before I go, but I don't really feel like cooking anything. Hunger is not on my side right now. I am still pretty full from breakfast and I just had a nice warm cup of chocolate protein. Maybe I'll be hungry after I'm all cleaned up.

If anyone out there thinks I could possibly have a few bean burritos tonight, please feel free to let me know. Especially if your name is Julie!!! Of course, she doesn't even know about this blog so I doubt I'll be getting her permission. Crap.

Shopping for suits

I did my 30 minutes on the StairMaster this morning. I am saving the rest of my cardio for a workout with a friend this afternoon, I hope. :)

I was going to pamper myself today and get my nails and feet done, but the rain has given me second thoughts. Nail polish just does not dry well when it is raining outside! A lot of this competition is pageantry (or so I've been told) so I will need some good looking nails in a few months. I might as well practice getting them done too while I am at it. LOL

I have been looking at suits for the competition, but haven't narrowed it down to one. I found one I like, but it is not made to order. Someone has already worn it so I guess I'd have to get someone to adjust it for me??? Not sure how that all works, but the suit is the next big thing I need to cross off my list. Julie says I can go ahead and order it. So I guess I'm gonna go shop for a little while and see what I can come up with.

Pain, pain go away!

My hips hurt and my right shoulder hurts. :( This is not good. I guess I should go get in a hot bath and soak my pain away, but here I sit at my computer wasting the night away.

I did okay on the cake batter today. I didn't eat too much of it. My little girl ate more than I did so that is pretty good, right? I just had an extra shot of protein too. I was hankering for a midnight snack and figured at least drinking some hot chocolate would be feeding my aching muscles and not the fat on the back of my legs. It needs to just die already. I feel like it is pretty much gone everywhere else on my body. I've got no more boobs. Thank God for push-up bras and padding because without them I would be flat as a pancake. Which for some is normal. But, I have had boobs ever since elementary school and these new boobs are even worse than post breastfeeding boobs!!! There is NO fat left. I want my boobies back!!!

Now my butt on the other hand, I'd glad shave a little off of it. At least the jiggly/dimply part. I wouldn't even mind it if I wasn't going to be up on stage in a couple of months. Tonight I got on YouTube and watched some videos. Now I am questioning myself. What have I gotten myself into?

I am putting myself into a line up with other girls so a few judges can scrutinize every little part of our bodies and pick the "best" one. I must be crazy! I always knew I was, but I guess this proves it. :)

I am going to sleep in tomorrow. I usually get up about 6:30 just to do my hour of cardio, but that is less than 6 hours away. I can't believe I am actually still up. I should be in bed resting, but I have been blogging and "studying" all night. I guess it is good to switch things up sometimes. Tomorrow I am going to switch up my cardio. I think I will just do the StairMaster in the morning and then do the treadmill after my weight training later in the afternoon. Of course, I am also considering walking up and down hills in lieu of the StairMaster, but I am not sure if that is an even trade. Decisions, decisions...

I did actually practice posing for a few minutes today. I started taking my stage apart after we got home from our yummy sushi dinner. Well, wouldn't you know it? Clint swoops in to be the hero and finishes the job for me (with minor mumbling). I am so happy to finally have it ready. Now, after watching some videos on YouTube, I really need to get up there and practice, practice, practice.

Sweet Dreams

I have been eating lots of cake and other forbidden food in my dreams lately. I am glad I can't gain anything by eating them in my dream world. Sometimes the dreams are so real, it seems like I really did eat cake and I start feeling guilty. LOL Tomorrow I am going to make some cupcakes for a sleepover Summer is going to. I am going to try not to lick the spatula more than once. :) I know I won't eat a cupcake or even taste the icing, but I do LOVE cake batter!!! My daughter has been wanting to open the icing for a couple of months so I am glad to finally get it out of my cabinets. Of course I still have two angel food cake mixes in there waiting on June 13th to come and go. I think I will wait until I can eat them to make those. Something about the cake being lowfat that makes it irresistable to me. I can eat the whole thing by myself in less than two days!!!

Today I went and worked my back despite feeling like I have a sick bug inside me crawling around making me feel crappy and tired. Then I came home and took a nice nap. I am glad I rested yesterday even though I still feel a little under the weather. I am doing legs tomorrow so that means I get to eat carbs all day (as long as they are in the form of oatmeal, rice or sweet potato). So I am thinking sushi at some point in the day. I just finished some fried eggs and a nice hot glass of mango passion fruit herbal tea. My belly has been pretty full today, and I have had to force the food down. I hope I am feeling all better tomorrow so I can enjoy my food rather than force it down.

I still do not have the pole out of my stage, but I am working on getting my hubby to do it. He says he can't do it without me, but I am sure I could probably do it without him. LOL He tried to sell the stage right out from under me too! He has had it on craigslist and finally found someone to buy it. But, I told him he can't sell it since I am planning on using it for practicing posing. He thinks I am being ridiculous for not letting him sell it. He said I could just get some plywood and put it in the bedroom floor and lower the mirror. As if all of that is easier than just keeping it the way we have it now. I don't get it. But, of course, I am being "ridiculous" to want to keep it and use it. It isn't about me wanting to use it to practice. Whatever. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I actually told him I was gonna quit the contest if he sold it since practicing posing is such an important part of the competition prep. I'm just ridiculous like that. :p

BTW - my shoes have finally shipped! I should be getting them first of the week! I can't wait!!!!!!!! I just hope they are somewhat comfortable...

First posing pics

I decided to go ahead and take some pics tonight even though I am not particularly feeling thin this evening since all of my food for the day has been consumed. Oh well. I need a starting point. From these pics, it looks like I still have a long way to go before I am ready for the competition. I really need to work on my posing, but as I was saying that darn pole is in my way!!!!! These are two of the poses I will be "hitting" when I am up on stage. I have to find a few more that look good and then I need to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. I have been reading some pointers tonight, but need to read more. Of course, practice is what makes perfect, not reading. But, reading does give me something to think about when I am standing up there in front of the mirror.

I'm about tired of the computer today though so I'm gonna get off here and go chill in front of the TV until it is time to shut my eyes. I've got to hit the cardio early in the morning. I didn't do the StairMaster today so I am feeling a little guilty, but my little girl needed some time at home. We are always on the go to this gym or that and she needed a break! LOL I think my hips do too because man are they hurting right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna be a poser!

I really need to start on my posing, but first I have to figure out how to get the pole off of the stage in my bedroom. Every time I ask my hubby, he says it has to be taken all the way apart to get it off. I don't think he understands that I don't care if it has to be taken all the way apart. I want it off!! So, I guess I am gonna give it a try myself. Looks like I need a wrench or two to loosen the stage so I can slide the pole out. I really don't think it will be as big of a deal as he makes it out to be. But, it doesn't really matter either way because I need somewhere to practice and there is not going to be a pole on the stage come June!

I really wish my shoes were here, but I don't even think they have shipped yet. I called today to make sure they were clear because the invoice says white. The shoes I am practicing in now are a little distracting. I am getting more and more confident in my chances, but I really need my butt to get with the game. I am ready to get some pics taken so I can post them. I think I have already waited later than I should have, but I really look pale and kind of ashy right now so I haven't been ready to jump in front of the camera. I'll have to get that pole off that stage ASAP. It is slowing me down. Too bad my hubby doesn't read this blog.

I've still got to go the gym and get on the StairMaster. I haven't had my daily does yet. LOL I am waiting on Summer to get up from her nap and then I think we will head over there hopefully before it gets too busy. I have a friend who I have been teasing about having a StairMaster contest with. I wonder if I could get him to show up today. I doubt it, but I may as well try. It would be more fun to be sweating my butt off next to someone I know rather than alone or next to a stranger. :)

Now I'm going to have a nice warm cup of hot chocolate (chocolate whey protein). It is a whole lot yummier than it sounds!!!

Just a little taste

This weekend went by quickly. I did NOT consume one drop of alcohol and I went to a party. With karaoke. Needless to say, I did not sing. My aunt kept asking me to get up there, but I just couldn't do it. I was trying too hard not to focus on the yummy cake sitting as the focal point of the room. :( Luckily it was not a chocolate cake, so the temptation was not too bad. Every time someone caught me looking at it or fixing my daughter a plate, they were all "You're not going to eat that for you." It seems like my mom has been bragging on me. :) My whole family now wants to come to this competition. No pressure though.

Anyway, I ate almost a whole Tyson package of Italian grilled chicken while everyone else ate hot dogs, chili, chips and cake, and some really yummy looking lemon cookies. I also ate 3 hard-boiled eggs whites. I also drank two bottles of water. Party on!!!

There were a lot of hot guys there which was a good distraction from the food. I'm pretty sure I kept looking around to see if there was one handsome face I had missed. :) Let's just say I am a big fan of cowboys and there was more than one man there in boots! And country music was the genre of the night. One guy, who was lucky he was wearing a cowboy hat, needed to PUT THE MICROPHONE DOWN already! Fun, fun.

Luckily I had the gym to go to. Not just once, but twice every day. I may have a day of "rest" this week when I only go to the gym one time. That is if I can figure out how to sit down and rest. LOL I just can't figure out how I stay so busy, but I guess I'm not one to sit around. I do have a pretty good chick flick calling my name. I have been neglecting my Netflix lately and maybe it is time to show it a little more attention. I have the Smurfs right now. I have only made it about half way through it, but maybe I can find some time to snuggle up on the couch with my little girl and watch it.



P.S. After a few hours at the party, I did have a little taste of the icing. It just kept calling my name.

Bound and determined

I have become more focused this week on the ultimate goal: placing in the competition. Winning is still a dream at this point, but I think I can at least place if I keep working as hard as I have (and not cheating on my diet). It is crazy, but I can't even imagine eating a piece of chocolate right now and it being worth it. I would just be thinking about how bad it was the whole time I was eating it. Plus it would be gone in about two seconds and the only lasting affect it would have on me is in the form a dimple on my butt cheek or thighs. LOL

I am glad I have become not only physically stronger, but mentally as well. I had a regular potato today (with salt & pepper only) and felt pretty bad. But, the restaurant we ate at had butter in the rice and veggies so I couldn't eat either of those. I needed a carb in the form of a sweet potato, rice or oats, but none was available. I didn't eat all of the potato either because I felt like I was cheating on my diet (which I am not sure I technically wasn't, but I wasn't trying to). I did need a carb at that meal and that was the lesser of the evils. Mashed potatoes are definitely not on my "can eat" list.

It is a struggle to eat correctly in restaurants, but it is just something I have to deal with because every meal can't be home cooked (at least not if I'm gonna maintain my sanity). I do cook quite a bit though, especially eggs. LOL I have just about perfected eggs. I still can't really flip a fried egg very well, but I am getting a little better. One of my favorite ways to eat eggs right now is as an omelet with freshly wilted spinach and diced tomatoes. Yummy! It goes so perfectly with a bowl of plain oatmeal. Oh the joy I get from oatmeal. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. It is one of my favorite foods that I can eat right now. Of course, any food that I can eat makes me happy.

Speaking of which, it is about time for another protein shake. I have four different flavors of protein right now. Three of them are chocolate which you would think would be the same flavor. But, it is not. Every brand tastes different and I consider each one to be a different flavor. I am in sad shape, aren't I? Who else even thinks about the flavors of protein? Well, I'm gonna get off here and have my 4th meal of the day.

I do have a birthday party to attend tomorrow. I am pretty sure I have the will power to go. I just need to make sure I have plenty of water to drink!!! That way I won't be tempted to have something of the alcoholic nature....

No cardio to start the day :*(

This day just wasn't meant to be started with an hour of cardio. It rained all night and was still raining this morning when I got up. We stayed out in Soddy, so I didn't have the convenience of running over to the Rush seeing as it is about 25 minutes from my house, not the usual 5. I had planned on a long, brisk walk through the neighborhood, but no such luck. I texted my trainers to see if I could use one of their treadmills at their gym and they said yes. But, no one was there when I got there at 6:45 a.m. (YUCK!) so I turned around and came home. I thought about walking around the garage or basement for an hour, but that did NOT sound very fun at all. So, I elected for laptop time. I will have to go to the gym later today and do my cardio because it doesn't look like I'll be able to go on an afternoon stroll with Summer in the stroller. It is a cold and rainy day. But, I am gonna get my cardio in. Maybe I'll actually go the Hixson Rush today. I usually run into people I know there which should break up the monotony of my usual daily cardio workout.

I need to start practicing on my posing more. I wish my shoes would come in so I could start practicing in them. I've got lots to work on in this part of the competition. It is probably harder than the actual working out. LOL Julie gave me a few pointers yesterday to work on. Now I just need to set up the time to do it. I should do it every day seeing as how it would only take about 5 or 10 minutes at the most. I need to set an appointment with my stripper pole stage. :) I do have one with a nice mirror beside it. I'm lucky my husband hasn't sold it on craigslist yet (he is trying). I don't think I'm gonna let him though until this competition is over. It is perfect for what I need to practice for the competition.

I am gonna need some help with make up. I have to wear fake eyelashes. I can't even imagine putting them on. With my luck, or rather clumsiness, I would glue them to my contacts. I also am gonna have to get some crazy dark foundation and apply that correctly so I don't look like my head is mismatched from my body. Oh yeah, plus I'm gonna have to start tanning at some point. Although I'm not a tanning bed tanner, I am actually ready for the tan part because I am pretty pale right now! I prefer to tan au natural. :) I am ready for the warm weather, so Mother Nature - BRING IT ON!!!

My belly is rumbling right now, so I better go get breakfast started. I've got a 9:30 a.m. appt. with Julie today. Shoulder time!

Chocolate demon defeated!!!

GO ME! GO ME! GO ME!!!

I can't believe I made it through the day yesterday without eating ANY chocolate. I didn't have any carbs either unless you count some strawberries. I don't think they are on my diet, but I am sure my personal trainer would rather hear about me eating strawberries than some ooey, gooey chocolaty treat, right?

I had a LOT of meat yesterday! But, it is not very filling so I was hungry until I finally went to bed somewhere around 9:00. I had to go to bed or else the chocolate demon might have won. I am so proud of myself right now.

I did have a minor relapse of a couple of glasses of champagne, but I did NOT have any orange juice with it.

All in all, I think I conquered Valentines Day the best I could have. I did pass up a glass of champagne with breakfast this morning. I settled for some iced green tea, a spinach and tomato omelet and a bowl of oatmeal. I must say my belly is pretty full right now. It is crazy the difference carbs make in your hunger.

I had a nice long walk this morning for my daily cardio and will hit the fitness center in a little bit to see if I can pump my shoulders up a little more. Other than that, I see a day filled with a trip to the swimming pool, the playground, and whatever else my little girl's heart desires. Hopefully that will keep me away from the chocolate covered pecan and caramel in the fridge!



P.S. If beef jerky is a demon, I did not win that battle! I love me some jerky!!!

"You Might Win"

I received these words of encouragement from my husband today. Of course my response was, "Yeah right." But, just to hear those words come out of his mouth made my day. :) So, at this moment, I am determined to do my best. I've got some high heels on and need to take some pics so I can see the progress I am making. I think I am already a little late on the pic taking because I have lost at least five pounds since I started "dieting" at the beginning of January.

Well, I'm off here to find a ruler so I can measure these heels and see if they are 5" like my new shoes are. I really can't wait for them to get here so I can get used to wearing them and walking in them. I've got a lot of posing and practicing ahead of me. Right now my quarter turns suck! I need to get on YouTube and check out some videos so I can see how the "pros" do it. LOL I just hope I don't fall down on stage!!! Today I just might because my legs are still killing me! I can take the pain though because I know my body is changing for the better because of it.

Go me!!!

Oatmeal and Eggs

This is the breakfast of champions. It must be! It sure is was hard to give up my yogurt and cereal, but I have made the switch. I used to look at my husband in disgust as he ate plain oatmeal and here I am eating plain oatmeal. I wonder if after my "time is up" I will ever eat it this way again. I must say that I do look forward to it though. It is warm and filling which is better than nothing. The thing is, I only get to eat it on days when I work out with weights. This actually makes me sad because if I didn't get to eat it, I would just get to eat eggs. I guess I will be even more motivated to hit the gym now because it means I get to eat more.

I got my new diet on Saturday night while I was playing poker with some friends. I was NOT a happy camper. The next day was a friend's birthday party at which I was gonna have my cheat meal of the week. Well, according to my new diet, I am not allowed any more cheat meals. BUMMER!!!! I look forward to my pasta meal (usually) every week. And I was especially looking forward to eating my friend's home made lasagna and red velvet cake. I will just leave it at that and say that I started my diet yesterday. ;)

I am supposed to eat six meals and they are pretty set except for the types of meats and veggies I can consume. I hope I can stick with it for 18 weeks.

Did I mention no alcohol either?

I'll just have to keep telling myself, "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it." Until I actually believe it. I hope that day comes sooner than later because right now all I can think of is would it be okay to have a bottle of champagne on Valentine's Day? Probably not. No chocolates either. I won't even get to eat oatmeal that day....unless I hit the gym in Gatlinburg which is where I will be for the weekend. Now there is something to look forward too!

Sore and hungry

Last night I could feel every inch of my legs. The teeniest touch sent pains through my legs. Today they are feeling much better. I have already done 30 minutes of cardio which I did a little differently today. I walked up and down the steps in and around my building. I walked up hills and over a little bridge. It was nice because not only was it different, but it was not cold. Now I need to go "study" for my class that I have to teach at 9:30.

Yesterday went pretty good diet wise. I actually ate an apple which I NEVER do. But, I figured it would help to fill me up because sometimes I just feel like I am starving even though I know I am not. Here is the pad where I write everything I eat. Obviously I am not starving.

My pad the day we left for Vegas. I never wrote in it while we were there which proves that vacations are NOT good for your diet.


I need to get off of here and order my shoes for the show. I think I'll do that now. Does anyone know of any low carb alcoholic drinks? I'm supposed to be playing poker tonight and I am gonna need to drink to dull the pain of losing. LOL



BTW- If you are interested in show I'm trying to be in, here is the link to the website:


http://www.tennesseebodybuilding.org/2009CHATSHOW.HTML



Wish me luck!!!

Workout #1 Legs

I went to see Julie yesterday and worked on my legs and butt. That is my "problem" area so we started with that. I'll be getting round two on Monday. :)

Before then, I have to do a shoulder workout and a back workout. I'm sure I'll be heading to the Rush later today for one of them. Can't wait to go to the Hixson Rush again! It just not the same downtown. Their weight machines are just depressing because there are very few of them. :(

I am still doing my cardio everyday too. No problems there. Today my legs were tired, but I am hoping all the walking pulled some of the soreness out of them. Lord know I'm gonna be feeling them all day!!! Time for some ibuprofen.

Now if I can only go more than one day without feeling bad about something I eat.

Temptation's a bitch!!!

To say the least.

I did try to behave myself, but I know I ate a couple of bites of cookie here and there. I think I did keep it around 1 whole cookie though. :)

I had pasta more than once although only once was it really worth it. Thank you Macaroni Grill.

I ate dessert a few times. Lemon Passion and Liquid Center Chocolate Cake to be exact. Again, thanks Macaroni Grill and Little Buddha,one of our favorite places to eat in Vegas - especially when it is free. That is if you don't include the $66 tip you have to leave. LOL

I had some a lot of wine.

Then came the airport. I ordered a sub (yes I ate bread) with cheese, bacon and ranch dressing on it (not nearly as good as my favorite sandwich from Arbys). Then last night when I got home, I had more bread - a pizza quickie sandwich - with pepperonis and cheese in between the toasted slices. I felt pretty bad about both of these choices, but today is a new day. I am moving on.

I have already gotten in an hour of cardio. I have a 2:00 appt. with Julie. Then I've got to teach my class tonight. I think I'll burn off some extra calories today.

But, I am going to try to be a good girl from here on...although I'm going to a lasagne birthday dinner on Friday night. I wonder if I will be able to pass up the birthday cake....

Temptation Island

Well, I am in Sin City this weekend and temptation is all around me. I walked into my in laws house to find a fridge full of cookies, chocolate and ice cream. Just great. Needless to say, I had to made a trip to the grocery store for some healthy food. I am trying to be strong and stay away from the cookies, but I must admit I had half of a sugar cookie yesterday that Summer had left laying on the counter. :( I also have been digging the pecans out of the the buttery pecan ice cream. But nuts are okay, right? LOL

Anyways, I'm not sure how good I'm gonna be while I'm here, but I am trying. I went to a Jazzercise class yesterday morning and think I'm gonna go again today, but I might just got for a long walk instead because no one else is up to watch Summer right now. I tried to pack in a good workout for my shoulders and legs before I left, but I am already missing the gym. I feel like I need to go workout, but I don't really have a gym to go to. If they are anything like trying to find a liquor store in Vegas, it may be next to impossible. Last night we drove around for 30 minutes trying to find one. Can you believe that? When we finally did find one, I told the guy I couldn't believe how hard it was to find a liquor store in Vegas. He said most grocery stores sell liquor. We passed a ton of those in our search...if I had only known. I am hoping Merlot is on the list of things I can have on my diet, but I doubt it. At least not the amount I consumed last night while singing karaoke. :) It was fun though and I am hoping all the dancing I was doing while singing burned away a few extra calories. I have heard though that once you start drinking, your body doesn't burn calories the right way or something. Not sure if that is true, but I should probably ask my personal trainer. I could ask her questions all day long, but I don't really want to be a pain so I will try to save them for when I go see her when I get back. I just hope I haven't gained a few pounds by then.

Well, I better get off here and find some sort of way to exercise so I can get on with my day and not feel like a complete slacker. But, isn't that what vacations are for????

My second "counseling" session

I went to talk to another personal trainer today about what I need to do to get ready for the competition. I'm going to have to cut out my new cardio sculpt classes and opt for slower / less intense cardio workout. So, this means "easier" cardio for me. But, along with the easier cardio, come a harder weight routine. I've got to work on my legs and butt, and then do a little more legs and butt, and when I'm done with that MORE LEGS. I also need to work my shoulders and back and I should be good to go. Gotta get my arms to shrink a little too. Overall, she made it sound like I could do good in the competition if I want to. I just need to decide if I really want to. I am thinking yes because I have nothing else stopping me right now. I have plenty of time to dedicate to the exercise portion. I also think I may be able to CAN find the will power to commit to the diet portion. Now where is it hiding at? I better go try to find it and come up with some more ways to keep me motivated.

Fried Chicken

I ended up going to my mom's house for lunch yesterday which was good, but bad. She cooked a good country meal loaded with fat I am sure. I managed to stay away from the macaroni & cheese and cornbread, but I wasn't so great at avoiding the fried chicken and mashed potatoes. She also had Greek spinach and pinto beans which I helped myself to plenty of each. I tried to use those two things as the filler and the "bad" two I ate just enough of to satisfy my taste buds. LOL

Today has not been that bad although after dinner I still felt like I was starving. So I finished off the lowfat cottage cheese in the fridge. I will probably have a protein hot chocolate when I finish this post. Yum. I am at least hoping not to break down and eat a bag of popcorn when I watch a movie with my daughter. I don't know what it is about being on a diet that makes me want to eat more. I guess I just feel like I am depriving myself so therefore my brain will not let my stomach be satisfied with the foods I am supposed to eat. This is the crap I hate the most - feeling like I CAN'T have something to eat...at least something I want. Fight the urge, fight the urge, fight the urge. Maybe if I keep saying it over and over I will win tonight's battle. Maybe not.

Today is a new day!

Let's just say that I had two cheat days this weekend and leave it at that. Of course, I enjoyed every minute of it and don't really regret it one bit. I'm sure I'll be hitting the gym sometime today if not tomorrow. Last night I danced the night away with some friends. It was a lot of fun and the best part is I didn't get too drunk (which unfortunately I have a tendency to do). :)

Today I am going to be super good girl. LOL I really need to go get some breakfast started. I'll probably have the usual around here - 2 eggs and oatmeal. I may even boil the eggs today. That would probably be best because I doubt I really need the yellow part after last night. I'm not really a big fan of boiled eggs. Until last week I don't think I had eaten a boiled egg in probably 15 years or more. Probably more. Wow! The things we will do to achieve our goals.

I have been wavering a little on my goal because the guy that turned me onto the competition has taken some time off from working out. This makes me think he isn't going to do the competition now and he was my inspiration. :( Kind of bummed about this, but what can I do?
I know what I need to do is to go see our friend Matt. He is a personal trainer and I need to take a bikini up there so he can look me over. Holy crap. That so does not sound fun. I just saw a dimple on my butt cheek this morning. It wasn't pretty!

Healthy Cooking

I have been cooking "healthy" since the first of the year. I cook my chicken breasts in a skillet with a little olive oil. I season it with onion powder, garlic powder, seasoned salt, and pepper. Sometimes I may add a little dried minced onion. Then I cook some broccoli seasoned with salt & pepper and maybe a little garlic powder. Or I'll cook baked potatoes which we eat with just salt & pepper (Clint likes ketchup on his). Sometimes I make mashed potatoes with only milk, salt and pepper which are surprisingly good. Even with no butter in them! We might also have a spinach salad with grape tomatoes and carrots sprinkled lightly with homemade italian dressing (1 tbs. for me). Sometimes I also cook green beans and corn or some "noodles" for Summer and Clint. There is one recipe for a yummy veggie which I really like - Greek spinach. I'll share that recipe today in case anyone ever does start reading this blog and cares to have it.

Greek Spinach

1 tbs. olive oil
1 medium onion chopped
1 can spinach
1 can diced tomatoes
1 handfull white rice

First heat the olive oil in pot. Add onions and saute for a few minutes until they look cooked (kind of clear instead of white). Then add your spinach, tomatoes & rice. Cover and simmer for about 20 minutes or until rice is done. You can also add salt to your taste if needed.

Like I said this is one of my favorite dishes that my mom used to make growing up. I am sure you could substitute brown rice if you want to be even healthier. Beware the spinach is hot and may need to cool especially if you are serving little ones. Be sure to stir their spinach after a minute or two on the plate as it seems to be well insulated. LOL Enjoy!

I'm rumbly in my tumbly

Or something like that.

I am up early because Summer woke me up to help her pee at 6:30 and then I couldn't go back to sleep. Started thinking about what I was gonna do for working out today. LOL I must be crazy. So here I am at my computer, planning vacations and looking at blogs with a hungry tummy. I guess I should go eat, but I have been cooking breakfast everyday and eating with Clint & Summer which has been nice. I don't want to wake them up, so I guess I'll just piddle with the computer a little longer.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I ate mostly healthy. Not perfect, but there was no butter or bread. Don't think I wasn't tempted though. When we left the gym, we went to the Arbys drive-thru. Clint told me to order for him so I did. Then I ordered me a sandwich which he told me I wasn't allowed to eat. So I told the lady to scratch my sandwich and ordered Summer one. I was not very happy. I know the sandwich I was gonna order (and almost got away with ordering except for my conscience aka Clint) had bacon, ranch, and cheese on it. All of which I am not allowed to eat. I couldn't bring myself to order anything else or leave anything off. It was all or nothing for me. So I got NOTHING. When we got home, Summer had about half of her sandwich left and she did not want it. I was so tempted to eat the roast beef sandwich, but I resisted. When I walked in the door, I fixed myself some hot chocolate (chocolate protein & water) and quickly gulped it down. Then I fixed a bag of popcorn (94% fat free) which I split into three bowls hoping everyone would do their part and help me eat the bag. They did NOT. Summer and Clint had a few bites of their bowls, but left the majority for me. Oh well. I didn't feel too guilty about it because I drank two bottles of water while eating it (which I paid for all night long).

As for today, not sure what I'll do for exercise today. Maybe a bike ride with Summer or pushing her up and down hills in the stroller. My ankle is still bothering me from when I rolled it Monday before last. I know I am not resting it enough, but I am on the go all day and I just don't sit down for long periods of time unless I am waiting for everyone to wake up in the morning. I think I'd have to take some sedatives to sit down for any length of time during the day. :) I guess I get that from my Granny. Holy crap. That is scary.

Well, I guess I'm gonna sign off. Tonight is my cheat meal. I am thinking Italian. YUM.

Enemy Territory

Last night I crossed over into enemy territory. The evil land of BREAD AND BUTTER. After we hit the gym yesterday afternoon, we went to eat dinner with some friends. Usually I am able to resist the bread, but this is the second time this week we have been to Longhorn and I just couldn’t help myself. I am a little disappointed to have been so weak in front of my friends who know that I am wanting to be in this competition. But, what is done, is done.

I also snuck a caramel filled Hershey Kiss last night. I suck. Oh well, at least it wasn’t two. I don’t even think it was worth it. :(

Oh yeah, Summer finished the can of miniature Oreos yesterday afternoon. All but two little chocolately sides and a few fine crumbs. But, don’t worry, she gave it to me. Thanks Summer! She is not very supportive of the diet. She always wants to share her good stuff with me which is nice in theory, but not very helpful when dieting. I wish she would just share it all with Clint. But, for some reason, I am her favorite.

Other than those minor (LOL) violations, the day was pretty good. I ate some tuna rolls which Clint brought me home (supposedly they were for me) from Sekesui. I didn’t feel too bad about eating them at 9:30, but I probably should’ve. They are pretty healthy except for the fact I am not supposed to eat carbs at night.

I’m sure I will work it off today. I’ve got to teach tonight and then we are going to the Rush so Clint can get his workout in too.

Now, if only I can be a good girl today. Only time will tell….

Getting Fit (whatever that means)

I have been having a hard time committing to my fitness goal. I decided a month or so ago that I wanted to be in a figure competition. I knew it would be lots of work to hit the gym everyday, but I really don't mind at all. The hard part is the DIETING!!! What I mean to say was HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.

The first week wasn't that bad. I ate pretty much perfectly (if there is such a thing) and seemed to be ready to achieve my goals. I had my first cheat day, better yet "meal," and went on my merry way with the dieting. Then I went to Bunco. Bunco was NOT a good thing for my diet. AT ALL. But, I had decided prior to going that I would take that as my cheat day for the week even though it was only Tuesday. I didn't do too horribly bad. That day anyway.

A day or so later I had a complete meltdown. I devoured 1/2 box of chocolate turtles, the rest of the cocoa chex mix, and a few hand full of miniature oreos. All just before bedtime. :( I haven't had that bad of a day since then, but I have been what I would call "cheating" a little. I mean even if you only eat two nacho cheese Doritos, it is still not good. Right?

To make up for it, I have been trying to attend more classes at the gym. Of course I need to be doing that anyway if I am going to be in a bikini in front of a row of judges and other spectators. So to get my body ready for the big day I have started doing some cardio after I do weights. I try to stick to a diet that consists of eggs, oatmeal, whey protein, chicken, fish, veggies, and cottage cheese. I try to only eat red meat twice a week. I try not to eat too many fruits. I don't eat breads. I have recently gotten addicted to trail mix. I don't think it is supposed to be on my diet, but like I said I am having trouble with that. I already am not allowed to eat my yogurt which I was so looking forward too. :(

Anyway, this is me on the start of my journey for the "perfect" body. LOL