My boobs are back!!!

Well it didn't take long to get them back. Just a lot of cookies and other carb filled treats and now I am plumping up all over. I am especially glad to have my boobs coming back. They were sorely missed, at least by me, and I am glad to see they have returned. I have not been hitting the weights as much as I'd like lately, but maybe I'll get back into soon. I am trying to do a little cardio every morning, but that only paves the way for me to eat loads of junk afterwards. Hmmm. Something about that doesn't seem right.

Surprise, surprise

Yesterday I made it to the gym to work out with some friends. And boy did it feel good!!!! I am sore today. :) Also good!

I weighed myself yesterday and was surprised to see I am still below my start weight. I guess all these cookies and cupcakes haven't officially turned into thigh fat yet. LOL I am still hovering right above 130. So, I am going to try to eat more sensibly, but the more I think about it, the more junk I put into my mouth. Let's see. So far today I have had a pop-tart, a cupcake, some baked Cheetos, a pb&j sandwich, a chocolate chip cookie (or was it two), and two different cheese snacks (mozzarella and cheddar). Oh yeah, and a miniature Hershey bar.

Yep, I've been eating like crap. At least I am drinking healthy though. So far just water and green tea. :)

I was supposed to go to the gym this morning, but someone didn't want me to go so here I am sitting on my butt trying not to eat. I did get about 30 minutes of cardio (walking) in this morning while my daughter was having her treatment. So, that is better than nothing. Maybe tomorrow I will get to go do legs with my buddies. That would be awesome!!! I've got to keep building up my muscle just in case I decide to compete next year. I don't want to lose what I have and I really enjoy building them up. So, I'll still be pumping it out at the gym when I can even if it isn't 6 or 7 days a week like before. I may be losing my mind, but I surely don't want to lose my body too!!!!

The numbers are in

It is official, I have gained 5 pounds since quitting training for the contest last Monday. Oh well. I guess that was to be expected. I was wasting away into nothing but muscles. But, at least I can still see my abs!!!

I have still been going to the gym. The hospital hooked us up with the one across the street so we can go get a quick workout in while my daughter is in the hospital for her treatments. So, that is awesome! My hubby and I went there twice over the weekend. I was at the gym at 7:00 today to take a body sculpt class. It was a good workout and I am so happy I went.

I have been trying to get some cardio in everyday too, although it is usually no where near an hour. I feel a nice long walk coming on today though. :) I hope the weather is going to cooperate, but I really have no idea what the forecast is. Who has time for TV anymore? I didn't even watch my favorite shows last night I was so tired.

My eating has still been out of control, but I can see that coming to a wane. I hope anyways. :) I still can't resist anything with sugar or flour. I have had a few biscuits with peanut butter and jelly over the past few days. Gotta love hospital food. It is SOOO healthy. NOT. That place is a danger zone for me, but maybe if I can keep control of myself at home I won't gain another five pounds. It is all about moderation. Why is that so hard to remember?

It's Over

I have definitely put myself on hold so that I can give 100% to my daughter for the next 8 months. I can always try again next year, but I really feel like the right thing to do is give my all to Summer. I will still be hitting the gym a few days a week, but I doubt it will be everyday now. I love me some weight lifting so I will continue with that. The cardio, not so much. I'll still be teaching Jazzercise when I can so I won't be going cold turkey on the cardio. Plus, a nice morning walk might sound good on some days.

That being said, I have a sitter tonight. It is St. Patrick's Day so I just might go out and have a green beer or two now that I'm not on alcohol restriction. Oh, and pizza sounds good too. I've got to remember moderation although depriving myself the way I have the past few months has probably thrown my moderating abilities off a bit. Maybe next week I'll go for moderation. :)

Anyways, hope everyone finds a reason to celebrate today. I could use a little time to unwind and let go. Might as well be tonight.

Renewed hope

It looks as if we may be staying in Chattanooga for my daughter's treatment and if so I am going to continue to pursue my dreams! I have a lot of family here to support me and who want to see me win this thing so I am going to stick to it. But, I am going to have to stop going to family dinners for the next 13 weeks. Either that, or they are going to have to stop making desserts. My aunt made her irresistible cookies again today. Need I say more?

I have been giving my arm a break this week trying to get it to heal up, but I still have pain in it. I have been icing it for the past few days at least a few times a day like Julie advised. I am not sure it is going to actually get better any time soon, but I have been taking it easy. I didn't do weights 3 days this week!!! That is crazy for me. Tomorrow I will probably be working back and then legs on Tuesday. I don't know if she will want me to lay off the shoulders still this week, but I kind of doubt it. We've got to get them bigger!!!

I did some extra cardio today to try to make up for my lack of self-control. Guess I should do extra tomorrow too. I think she will be bumping me up to 2 hours in a week or so anyway. Might as well start now.

I have been slacking on my posing practice too. I need to get off here and go get in front of my mirror for a few minutes. But, I've got a few more things to do. Boy, procrastinating sure is easy!!!

Diminishing dreams

It seems like my dreams of competing are becoming less likely. We just can't catch a break with my daughter's cancer. I don't know if I am being selfish by still considering doing the competition or if it is really a distraction I need in my life right now. It could be the key to my sanity, but it could also lead to me going insane if I have to worry about eating right in a hospital setting all the time. I did pretty good today considering we were at the hospital most of the afternoon. My appetite isn't really that great anyway which is a plus. I did have a moment of "insanity" when I put one and a half chicken nuggets in my mouth, chewed them up, and swallowed them. Why did I do that?

I got my cardio in this morning, but it looks like that is out for tomorrow. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30. Normally I am at the Rush finishing up the StairMaster and heading towards the treadmill at that time. Oh well. Maybe I will get to the gym sometime in the afternoon and at least get a leg work out in. But, that might be pushing it. I know it does not really seem like a big deal to miss a day or two, but I want to win not come in second. So, I try to make everyday count.

I am currently on restriction from doing shoulders and possibly back if it hurts my arm. I have strained / aggravated a muscle in my upper arm and I need to rest it so it will get back to being pain free. My shoulders still need a lot of bulking up in the next 13 weeks. Speaking of, I better go get the ice pack and put it on before I head off to bed.

Is it possible the pain in my arm (and sometimes hips) is just another thing indicating I should quit? Man I gotta get my mind out of this rut and do some serious POSITIVE THINKING!!!

Trying to stay strong

I am so sore today. I may have to take a day off tomorrow and rest, but maybe not. I did an hour and a half of cardio before 7:30 this morning. It feels so good to get up and do this. Today I walked a different path home. One thing that is awesome about downtown living, is there is a lot of scenery to be seen and all within walking distance from my condo!!! I could walk a different path to the Rush everyday for a month if I really wanted to. Although I like to do most of my wandering around on the trip home.

I have been struggling a little with my diet thanks to more bad news about my daughter. I am really going to try to be strong. I am going to a friend's for dinner to night and taking my food with me!!! I will not be tempted. Yesterday when we got home from the doctor, I baked some homemade banana bread which I didn't initially think I would eat any of. I had some old bananas that needed to be made into bread. Well, I was strong the whole time my husband was eating hot banana bread. Then as I waited for him to return from picking up our sushi dinner, I lost control. First it was just a crumb then it turned into a whole piece. Damn it. I so wish I wouldn't have done it now. It was not worth it. I did feel a little better and more relaxed at the time I ate it, but today I am just thinking about the jiggle in my butt. My aunt is having a dinner on Sunday which will have about 0% for me to eat if I follow my diet. Crap. Looks like I'll be taking some special food for that trip too.

It will all be worth it in the end though. I am actually starting to look forward to this competition even more than I did before. It gives me a good distraction in my life. Something positive to focus on. So, here I am again cheering for myself: Go me! Go me! Go me!