Oh to have a cheat meal...

My friends are meeting up at Las Margaritas for dinner tonight, but I don't think I'm going to go. I wouldn't be able to eat or drink (I could live with just one) so it doesn't sound like too much fun. I guess I should just go hop in the shower and get ready for the gym. I really need to eat before I go, but I don't really feel like cooking anything. Hunger is not on my side right now. I am still pretty full from breakfast and I just had a nice warm cup of chocolate protein. Maybe I'll be hungry after I'm all cleaned up.

If anyone out there thinks I could possibly have a few bean burritos tonight, please feel free to let me know. Especially if your name is Julie!!! Of course, she doesn't even know about this blog so I doubt I'll be getting her permission. Crap.

Shopping for suits

I did my 30 minutes on the StairMaster this morning. I am saving the rest of my cardio for a workout with a friend this afternoon, I hope. :)

I was going to pamper myself today and get my nails and feet done, but the rain has given me second thoughts. Nail polish just does not dry well when it is raining outside! A lot of this competition is pageantry (or so I've been told) so I will need some good looking nails in a few months. I might as well practice getting them done too while I am at it. LOL

I have been looking at suits for the competition, but haven't narrowed it down to one. I found one I like, but it is not made to order. Someone has already worn it so I guess I'd have to get someone to adjust it for me??? Not sure how that all works, but the suit is the next big thing I need to cross off my list. Julie says I can go ahead and order it. So I guess I'm gonna go shop for a little while and see what I can come up with.

Pain, pain go away!

My hips hurt and my right shoulder hurts. :( This is not good. I guess I should go get in a hot bath and soak my pain away, but here I sit at my computer wasting the night away.

I did okay on the cake batter today. I didn't eat too much of it. My little girl ate more than I did so that is pretty good, right? I just had an extra shot of protein too. I was hankering for a midnight snack and figured at least drinking some hot chocolate would be feeding my aching muscles and not the fat on the back of my legs. It needs to just die already. I feel like it is pretty much gone everywhere else on my body. I've got no more boobs. Thank God for push-up bras and padding because without them I would be flat as a pancake. Which for some is normal. But, I have had boobs ever since elementary school and these new boobs are even worse than post breastfeeding boobs!!! There is NO fat left. I want my boobies back!!!

Now my butt on the other hand, I'd glad shave a little off of it. At least the jiggly/dimply part. I wouldn't even mind it if I wasn't going to be up on stage in a couple of months. Tonight I got on YouTube and watched some videos. Now I am questioning myself. What have I gotten myself into?

I am putting myself into a line up with other girls so a few judges can scrutinize every little part of our bodies and pick the "best" one. I must be crazy! I always knew I was, but I guess this proves it. :)

I am going to sleep in tomorrow. I usually get up about 6:30 just to do my hour of cardio, but that is less than 6 hours away. I can't believe I am actually still up. I should be in bed resting, but I have been blogging and "studying" all night. I guess it is good to switch things up sometimes. Tomorrow I am going to switch up my cardio. I think I will just do the StairMaster in the morning and then do the treadmill after my weight training later in the afternoon. Of course, I am also considering walking up and down hills in lieu of the StairMaster, but I am not sure if that is an even trade. Decisions, decisions...

I did actually practice posing for a few minutes today. I started taking my stage apart after we got home from our yummy sushi dinner. Well, wouldn't you know it? Clint swoops in to be the hero and finishes the job for me (with minor mumbling). I am so happy to finally have it ready. Now, after watching some videos on YouTube, I really need to get up there and practice, practice, practice.

Sweet Dreams

I have been eating lots of cake and other forbidden food in my dreams lately. I am glad I can't gain anything by eating them in my dream world. Sometimes the dreams are so real, it seems like I really did eat cake and I start feeling guilty. LOL Tomorrow I am going to make some cupcakes for a sleepover Summer is going to. I am going to try not to lick the spatula more than once. :) I know I won't eat a cupcake or even taste the icing, but I do LOVE cake batter!!! My daughter has been wanting to open the icing for a couple of months so I am glad to finally get it out of my cabinets. Of course I still have two angel food cake mixes in there waiting on June 13th to come and go. I think I will wait until I can eat them to make those. Something about the cake being lowfat that makes it irresistable to me. I can eat the whole thing by myself in less than two days!!!

Today I went and worked my back despite feeling like I have a sick bug inside me crawling around making me feel crappy and tired. Then I came home and took a nice nap. I am glad I rested yesterday even though I still feel a little under the weather. I am doing legs tomorrow so that means I get to eat carbs all day (as long as they are in the form of oatmeal, rice or sweet potato). So I am thinking sushi at some point in the day. I just finished some fried eggs and a nice hot glass of mango passion fruit herbal tea. My belly has been pretty full today, and I have had to force the food down. I hope I am feeling all better tomorrow so I can enjoy my food rather than force it down.

I still do not have the pole out of my stage, but I am working on getting my hubby to do it. He says he can't do it without me, but I am sure I could probably do it without him. LOL He tried to sell the stage right out from under me too! He has had it on craigslist and finally found someone to buy it. But, I told him he can't sell it since I am planning on using it for practicing posing. He thinks I am being ridiculous for not letting him sell it. He said I could just get some plywood and put it in the bedroom floor and lower the mirror. As if all of that is easier than just keeping it the way we have it now. I don't get it. But, of course, I am being "ridiculous" to want to keep it and use it. It isn't about me wanting to use it to practice. Whatever. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I actually told him I was gonna quit the contest if he sold it since practicing posing is such an important part of the competition prep. I'm just ridiculous like that. :p

BTW - my shoes have finally shipped! I should be getting them first of the week! I can't wait!!!!!!!! I just hope they are somewhat comfortable...

First posing pics

I decided to go ahead and take some pics tonight even though I am not particularly feeling thin this evening since all of my food for the day has been consumed. Oh well. I need a starting point. From these pics, it looks like I still have a long way to go before I am ready for the competition. I really need to work on my posing, but as I was saying that darn pole is in my way!!!!! These are two of the poses I will be "hitting" when I am up on stage. I have to find a few more that look good and then I need to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. I have been reading some pointers tonight, but need to read more. Of course, practice is what makes perfect, not reading. But, reading does give me something to think about when I am standing up there in front of the mirror.

I'm about tired of the computer today though so I'm gonna get off here and go chill in front of the TV until it is time to shut my eyes. I've got to hit the cardio early in the morning. I didn't do the StairMaster today so I am feeling a little guilty, but my little girl needed some time at home. We are always on the go to this gym or that and she needed a break! LOL I think my hips do too because man are they hurting right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna be a poser!

I really need to start on my posing, but first I have to figure out how to get the pole off of the stage in my bedroom. Every time I ask my hubby, he says it has to be taken all the way apart to get it off. I don't think he understands that I don't care if it has to be taken all the way apart. I want it off!! So, I guess I am gonna give it a try myself. Looks like I need a wrench or two to loosen the stage so I can slide the pole out. I really don't think it will be as big of a deal as he makes it out to be. But, it doesn't really matter either way because I need somewhere to practice and there is not going to be a pole on the stage come June!

I really wish my shoes were here, but I don't even think they have shipped yet. I called today to make sure they were clear because the invoice says white. The shoes I am practicing in now are a little distracting. I am getting more and more confident in my chances, but I really need my butt to get with the game. I am ready to get some pics taken so I can post them. I think I have already waited later than I should have, but I really look pale and kind of ashy right now so I haven't been ready to jump in front of the camera. I'll have to get that pole off that stage ASAP. It is slowing me down. Too bad my hubby doesn't read this blog.

I've still got to go the gym and get on the StairMaster. I haven't had my daily does yet. LOL I am waiting on Summer to get up from her nap and then I think we will head over there hopefully before it gets too busy. I have a friend who I have been teasing about having a StairMaster contest with. I wonder if I could get him to show up today. I doubt it, but I may as well try. It would be more fun to be sweating my butt off next to someone I know rather than alone or next to a stranger. :)

Now I'm going to have a nice warm cup of hot chocolate (chocolate whey protein). It is a whole lot yummier than it sounds!!!

Just a little taste

This weekend went by quickly. I did NOT consume one drop of alcohol and I went to a party. With karaoke. Needless to say, I did not sing. My aunt kept asking me to get up there, but I just couldn't do it. I was trying too hard not to focus on the yummy cake sitting as the focal point of the room. :( Luckily it was not a chocolate cake, so the temptation was not too bad. Every time someone caught me looking at it or fixing my daughter a plate, they were all "You're not going to eat that for you." It seems like my mom has been bragging on me. :) My whole family now wants to come to this competition. No pressure though.

Anyway, I ate almost a whole Tyson package of Italian grilled chicken while everyone else ate hot dogs, chili, chips and cake, and some really yummy looking lemon cookies. I also ate 3 hard-boiled eggs whites. I also drank two bottles of water. Party on!!!

There were a lot of hot guys there which was a good distraction from the food. I'm pretty sure I kept looking around to see if there was one handsome face I had missed. :) Let's just say I am a big fan of cowboys and there was more than one man there in boots! And country music was the genre of the night. One guy, who was lucky he was wearing a cowboy hat, needed to PUT THE MICROPHONE DOWN already! Fun, fun.

Luckily I had the gym to go to. Not just once, but twice every day. I may have a day of "rest" this week when I only go to the gym one time. That is if I can figure out how to sit down and rest. LOL I just can't figure out how I stay so busy, but I guess I'm not one to sit around. I do have a pretty good chick flick calling my name. I have been neglecting my Netflix lately and maybe it is time to show it a little more attention. I have the Smurfs right now. I have only made it about half way through it, but maybe I can find some time to snuggle up on the couch with my little girl and watch it.



P.S. After a few hours at the party, I did have a little taste of the icing. It just kept calling my name.

Bound and determined

I have become more focused this week on the ultimate goal: placing in the competition. Winning is still a dream at this point, but I think I can at least place if I keep working as hard as I have (and not cheating on my diet). It is crazy, but I can't even imagine eating a piece of chocolate right now and it being worth it. I would just be thinking about how bad it was the whole time I was eating it. Plus it would be gone in about two seconds and the only lasting affect it would have on me is in the form a dimple on my butt cheek or thighs. LOL

I am glad I have become not only physically stronger, but mentally as well. I had a regular potato today (with salt & pepper only) and felt pretty bad. But, the restaurant we ate at had butter in the rice and veggies so I couldn't eat either of those. I needed a carb in the form of a sweet potato, rice or oats, but none was available. I didn't eat all of the potato either because I felt like I was cheating on my diet (which I am not sure I technically wasn't, but I wasn't trying to). I did need a carb at that meal and that was the lesser of the evils. Mashed potatoes are definitely not on my "can eat" list.

It is a struggle to eat correctly in restaurants, but it is just something I have to deal with because every meal can't be home cooked (at least not if I'm gonna maintain my sanity). I do cook quite a bit though, especially eggs. LOL I have just about perfected eggs. I still can't really flip a fried egg very well, but I am getting a little better. One of my favorite ways to eat eggs right now is as an omelet with freshly wilted spinach and diced tomatoes. Yummy! It goes so perfectly with a bowl of plain oatmeal. Oh the joy I get from oatmeal. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. It is one of my favorite foods that I can eat right now. Of course, any food that I can eat makes me happy.

Speaking of which, it is about time for another protein shake. I have four different flavors of protein right now. Three of them are chocolate which you would think would be the same flavor. But, it is not. Every brand tastes different and I consider each one to be a different flavor. I am in sad shape, aren't I? Who else even thinks about the flavors of protein? Well, I'm gonna get off here and have my 4th meal of the day.

I do have a birthday party to attend tomorrow. I am pretty sure I have the will power to go. I just need to make sure I have plenty of water to drink!!! That way I won't be tempted to have something of the alcoholic nature....

No cardio to start the day :*(

This day just wasn't meant to be started with an hour of cardio. It rained all night and was still raining this morning when I got up. We stayed out in Soddy, so I didn't have the convenience of running over to the Rush seeing as it is about 25 minutes from my house, not the usual 5. I had planned on a long, brisk walk through the neighborhood, but no such luck. I texted my trainers to see if I could use one of their treadmills at their gym and they said yes. But, no one was there when I got there at 6:45 a.m. (YUCK!) so I turned around and came home. I thought about walking around the garage or basement for an hour, but that did NOT sound very fun at all. So, I elected for laptop time. I will have to go to the gym later today and do my cardio because it doesn't look like I'll be able to go on an afternoon stroll with Summer in the stroller. It is a cold and rainy day. But, I am gonna get my cardio in. Maybe I'll actually go the Hixson Rush today. I usually run into people I know there which should break up the monotony of my usual daily cardio workout.

I need to start practicing on my posing more. I wish my shoes would come in so I could start practicing in them. I've got lots to work on in this part of the competition. It is probably harder than the actual working out. LOL Julie gave me a few pointers yesterday to work on. Now I just need to set up the time to do it. I should do it every day seeing as how it would only take about 5 or 10 minutes at the most. I need to set an appointment with my stripper pole stage. :) I do have one with a nice mirror beside it. I'm lucky my husband hasn't sold it on craigslist yet (he is trying). I don't think I'm gonna let him though until this competition is over. It is perfect for what I need to practice for the competition.

I am gonna need some help with make up. I have to wear fake eyelashes. I can't even imagine putting them on. With my luck, or rather clumsiness, I would glue them to my contacts. I also am gonna have to get some crazy dark foundation and apply that correctly so I don't look like my head is mismatched from my body. Oh yeah, plus I'm gonna have to start tanning at some point. Although I'm not a tanning bed tanner, I am actually ready for the tan part because I am pretty pale right now! I prefer to tan au natural. :) I am ready for the warm weather, so Mother Nature - BRING IT ON!!!

My belly is rumbling right now, so I better go get breakfast started. I've got a 9:30 a.m. appt. with Julie today. Shoulder time!

Chocolate demon defeated!!!

GO ME! GO ME! GO ME!!!

I can't believe I made it through the day yesterday without eating ANY chocolate. I didn't have any carbs either unless you count some strawberries. I don't think they are on my diet, but I am sure my personal trainer would rather hear about me eating strawberries than some ooey, gooey chocolaty treat, right?

I had a LOT of meat yesterday! But, it is not very filling so I was hungry until I finally went to bed somewhere around 9:00. I had to go to bed or else the chocolate demon might have won. I am so proud of myself right now.

I did have a minor relapse of a couple of glasses of champagne, but I did NOT have any orange juice with it.

All in all, I think I conquered Valentines Day the best I could have. I did pass up a glass of champagne with breakfast this morning. I settled for some iced green tea, a spinach and tomato omelet and a bowl of oatmeal. I must say my belly is pretty full right now. It is crazy the difference carbs make in your hunger.

I had a nice long walk this morning for my daily cardio and will hit the fitness center in a little bit to see if I can pump my shoulders up a little more. Other than that, I see a day filled with a trip to the swimming pool, the playground, and whatever else my little girl's heart desires. Hopefully that will keep me away from the chocolate covered pecan and caramel in the fridge!



P.S. If beef jerky is a demon, I did not win that battle! I love me some jerky!!!

"You Might Win"

I received these words of encouragement from my husband today. Of course my response was, "Yeah right." But, just to hear those words come out of his mouth made my day. :) So, at this moment, I am determined to do my best. I've got some high heels on and need to take some pics so I can see the progress I am making. I think I am already a little late on the pic taking because I have lost at least five pounds since I started "dieting" at the beginning of January.

Well, I'm off here to find a ruler so I can measure these heels and see if they are 5" like my new shoes are. I really can't wait for them to get here so I can get used to wearing them and walking in them. I've got a lot of posing and practicing ahead of me. Right now my quarter turns suck! I need to get on YouTube and check out some videos so I can see how the "pros" do it. LOL I just hope I don't fall down on stage!!! Today I just might because my legs are still killing me! I can take the pain though because I know my body is changing for the better because of it.

Go me!!!

Oatmeal and Eggs

This is the breakfast of champions. It must be! It sure is was hard to give up my yogurt and cereal, but I have made the switch. I used to look at my husband in disgust as he ate plain oatmeal and here I am eating plain oatmeal. I wonder if after my "time is up" I will ever eat it this way again. I must say that I do look forward to it though. It is warm and filling which is better than nothing. The thing is, I only get to eat it on days when I work out with weights. This actually makes me sad because if I didn't get to eat it, I would just get to eat eggs. I guess I will be even more motivated to hit the gym now because it means I get to eat more.

I got my new diet on Saturday night while I was playing poker with some friends. I was NOT a happy camper. The next day was a friend's birthday party at which I was gonna have my cheat meal of the week. Well, according to my new diet, I am not allowed any more cheat meals. BUMMER!!!! I look forward to my pasta meal (usually) every week. And I was especially looking forward to eating my friend's home made lasagna and red velvet cake. I will just leave it at that and say that I started my diet yesterday. ;)

I am supposed to eat six meals and they are pretty set except for the types of meats and veggies I can consume. I hope I can stick with it for 18 weeks.

Did I mention no alcohol either?

I'll just have to keep telling myself, "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it." Until I actually believe it. I hope that day comes sooner than later because right now all I can think of is would it be okay to have a bottle of champagne on Valentine's Day? Probably not. No chocolates either. I won't even get to eat oatmeal that day....unless I hit the gym in Gatlinburg which is where I will be for the weekend. Now there is something to look forward too!

Sore and hungry

Last night I could feel every inch of my legs. The teeniest touch sent pains through my legs. Today they are feeling much better. I have already done 30 minutes of cardio which I did a little differently today. I walked up and down the steps in and around my building. I walked up hills and over a little bridge. It was nice because not only was it different, but it was not cold. Now I need to go "study" for my class that I have to teach at 9:30.

Yesterday went pretty good diet wise. I actually ate an apple which I NEVER do. But, I figured it would help to fill me up because sometimes I just feel like I am starving even though I know I am not. Here is the pad where I write everything I eat. Obviously I am not starving.

My pad the day we left for Vegas. I never wrote in it while we were there which proves that vacations are NOT good for your diet.


I need to get off of here and order my shoes for the show. I think I'll do that now. Does anyone know of any low carb alcoholic drinks? I'm supposed to be playing poker tonight and I am gonna need to drink to dull the pain of losing. LOL



BTW- If you are interested in show I'm trying to be in, here is the link to the website:


http://www.tennesseebodybuilding.org/2009CHATSHOW.HTML



Wish me luck!!!

Workout #1 Legs

I went to see Julie yesterday and worked on my legs and butt. That is my "problem" area so we started with that. I'll be getting round two on Monday. :)

Before then, I have to do a shoulder workout and a back workout. I'm sure I'll be heading to the Rush later today for one of them. Can't wait to go to the Hixson Rush again! It just not the same downtown. Their weight machines are just depressing because there are very few of them. :(

I am still doing my cardio everyday too. No problems there. Today my legs were tired, but I am hoping all the walking pulled some of the soreness out of them. Lord know I'm gonna be feeling them all day!!! Time for some ibuprofen.

Now if I can only go more than one day without feeling bad about something I eat.

Temptation's a bitch!!!

To say the least.

I did try to behave myself, but I know I ate a couple of bites of cookie here and there. I think I did keep it around 1 whole cookie though. :)

I had pasta more than once although only once was it really worth it. Thank you Macaroni Grill.

I ate dessert a few times. Lemon Passion and Liquid Center Chocolate Cake to be exact. Again, thanks Macaroni Grill and Little Buddha,one of our favorite places to eat in Vegas - especially when it is free. That is if you don't include the $66 tip you have to leave. LOL

I had some a lot of wine.

Then came the airport. I ordered a sub (yes I ate bread) with cheese, bacon and ranch dressing on it (not nearly as good as my favorite sandwich from Arbys). Then last night when I got home, I had more bread - a pizza quickie sandwich - with pepperonis and cheese in between the toasted slices. I felt pretty bad about both of these choices, but today is a new day. I am moving on.

I have already gotten in an hour of cardio. I have a 2:00 appt. with Julie. Then I've got to teach my class tonight. I think I'll burn off some extra calories today.

But, I am going to try to be a good girl from here on...although I'm going to a lasagne birthday dinner on Friday night. I wonder if I will be able to pass up the birthday cake....